ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
