He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
