i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
