And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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