So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
