I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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