What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
