He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
