I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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