that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
