There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
