WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You don't make any sense
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