matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
