Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
