Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
