It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize