i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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