Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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