Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I love you. Go after that dick
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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