I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
