I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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