I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We left an ass print on the piano.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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