i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
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OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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