dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
