oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
