I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Pooping to opera.
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