I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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