Heybabeimwearingurpanties
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
