Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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