I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
