Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
