I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He shit in the fireplace
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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