Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
