nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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