Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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