Where is the hickey?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
