Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
