Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize