Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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