Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
