It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
