YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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