Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
