he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
