Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
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You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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