I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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