Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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