no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
