bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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