If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
