Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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