i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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