I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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