I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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