Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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