I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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