Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize