maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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