Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
