Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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