Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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