this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize